The greatest honour you can do for receiving the gift of your life is to live it as joyfully and happily as possible. Obviously there are going to be lessons and challenges along the way, most of which are to undo previous conditioning. Regardless, the best way to show gratitude for your life, really, is to live it well.
So what happens when you find yourself in a situation that leaves you not only miserable, but without hope for positive change? In time, you retreat further and further away from the joyful you into a cloud of sadness, resentment, or confusion.
This is not who you are here to be. It is not who God/Life wants you to be. It is not who those who trulylove you want you to be. And it is not who you want to be.
Do you stay, for example, in an unhappy marriage, in a marriage that is clearly not going to improve, for the sake of the children? Having seen this happen clearly with many I know, I can honestly say that the children will benefit more from the move than from staying. Sure, there will be disruption and some scary times as you venture into the new. There will be uncertainty.
However, there will also be relief, empowerment, excitement, and self-respect. Staying in an unhappy situation teaches children that it is not OK to honour your heart and that accepting unhappiness is normal. Leaving teaches them self-respect and that life is not always black and white. It teaches them that life is created on a daily basis by the choices you make or don’t make.
There is much to weigh up, certainly, when there are children to consider, for example. If there remains some hope for the parental relationship to grow and evolve, then it can be a wonderful teacher for the whole family. The damage caused though by staying in such a situation, if there is no hope remaining, is enormous to all concerned, especially to the children in what it teaches them.
To find the strength to make such a big move can be daunting and overwhelming. It takes reaching a place in yourself where the pain of staying becomes so illuminated that you can no longer ignore it. You reach your absolute limit of emotional exhaustion and of reasoning with yourself, justifying and validating theories that your heart no longer believes.
When you do reach that point though, strength will rise from within you that you don’t even realise yet that you own. You are more amazing and capable than you dare think. But you don’t need to be that person instantly. You just need to deal with it one step at a time and you will indeed find the strength to do that.
What if you stay in a situation for other reasons – to stick with an unhappy career path or through religious obligations? There are questions to ask yourself. Do you truly, deep down in your heart believe that God wants you to be unhappy? Do you really think that the opinions of others are worth more to your life than your own happiness? Do you honestly think that you are going to be able to look back on your life kindly and happily if you stay accepting a situation which has clearly done its time and no longer serves your happiness, wellbeing, or evolution?
You are here to learn how to be truly happy, to become your best self. And it is attainable. But only you can make that happen.
It is done by the choices you make and by living life one small step at a time. Trust that the next step will reveal itself when you need it to. But right now, your job is to make some choices and deal with the step in front of you.
Remember too, you are never truly alone. Life wants you to be happy. Support will come.
You are more amazing and beautiful than you yet know. Allow that person to grow from you. And then, allow that person to inspire others by example.
There is more life to live. Live it honestly.
I wish you love. I wish you strength.